Someone tell JK Rowling that I don’t “fancy a shag”

Asexuality is the newest addition to the long list of identities Joanne is scared of

On April 6, 2025 (International Asexuality Day) best-selling dementor J.K. Rowling shared a tweet mocking asexuality, writing:

“Happy International Fake Oppression Day to everyone who wants complete strangers to know they don't fancy a shag.”

The tweet has since sparked swift backlash online from LGBTQIA+ communities and allies, particularly among asexual people, who criticised the author for once again using her platform to ridicule a marginalised group. The comment follows a pattern of public statements in which Rowling has dismissed queer identities she either misunderstands or finds inconvenient. This time, it was asexuals; people who experience little to no sexual attraction, who were on the receiving end of her trademark smugness.

And look. I wasn’t surprised. But I was still tired. When I first saw the tweet, I belly laughed. Not because it was funny but because if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry.

Sure, Joanne.

The only one who sounds oppressed right now is you, dictionary-challenged and whining on the internet every time you discover a new identity you don’t understand. Every few months, it’s like watching someone angrily discover the back of a cereal box. “Wait, WHAT is panromantic?!” she screeches from the void of her mould-covered house. “Demisexuals?? Why are there so many words?!”

I’ll tell you why.

Because for some of us, language is the only thing that has ever made us feel real. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be asexual. There was no glitter parade, no announcement, no round of applause. There was drunk me at 3am hate-googling what was wrong with me. There was just confusion. Shame. Loneliness. Years of trying to force myself into boxes that never fit. Years of pretending I was “just picky” or “a late bloomer” or “not ready” because everyone told me.

Because the world doesn’t teach you that asexuality exists. It teaches you that sex is the goal, the currency, the proof of love, of adulthood, of being wanted. And when you don’t want it, or don’t feel it, you start to believe that maybe you’re broken.

That’s the real oppression. Not violence, but silence. Not discrimination, but erasure. There is also a very real, very dangerous pattern of corrective behaviour that asexual people are subjected to. We are told we “just haven’t had the right experience,” that we need to “loosen up,” that sometimes… that someone needs to “show us what we’re missing.” That kind of rhetoric leads to coercion. It leads to assault. And it’s horrifyingly common.

Many asexual people have been sexually abused because they said no, because they didn’t want it, because someone took that as a challenge rather than a clear boundary. We are taught that our “no” is negotiable, our discomfort irrelevant, and our trauma invisible.

When Rowling mocks people for being open about their asexuality, she’s mocking visibility. And visibility saves lives. If I had seen just one character growing up who didn’t want sex and wasn’t treated like a joke or a villain or a robot, maybe I would’ve come to terms with myself sooner and not at 25. Maybe I would’ve had language. Maybe I wouldn’t have internalised the idea that something was wrong with me.

When we say we’re asexual, we’re not asking for attention. We’re asking not to be erased. We’re asking not to be treated like a punchline. We’re just saying “I exist” in a world that keeps insisting we don’t.

Here’s the thing: being asexual isn’t about J.K. Rowling. It’s not about Twitter. It’s not about needing anyone’s validation. It’s about giving language to those who feel out of place in a hypersexual world. It’s about unlearning shame. It’s about finding your people.

But when someone with Rowling’s platform mocks that journey, it does damage. Real damage. It gives others permission to dismiss us, belittle us, treat us like we’re exaggerating. And it adds another brick to the wall that asexual people are already climbing just to be seen.

I know it’s hard. I know that tweet might’ve made you feel small, or angry, or tired. I felt all of that too. But I need you to know you’re not making it up. You’re not asking for too much. And you’re not a joke.

You’re a full person, worthy of love, joy, safety, and respect whether or not you ever want to sleep with anyone.

So yes. I’ll say it loud.

I don’t fancy a shag.

And if that makes some bestselling billionaire uncomfortable, she can fuck off. What did you feel when you saw that?